My Own Advice

I read an article today that made me realize that I have not been taking my own advice. I have been neglecting my writing, using my day job and my depression as an excuse. If I am indeed a writer, then I should be making time to write.

When a person enjoys doing something, they make time for it. It's like a child that hates getting up early for school, and acts like a zombie every morning, but on Saturday the same child has no trouble getting up before dawn to play their favorite video game or watch their favorite cartoon.

As a writer, I should feel like that child on Saturday morning. I need to make time to write, and I need to do it simply for the joy of writing. If I can't do that, then I'm not really a writer. Would it be simpler to quit my job and focus totally on writing? Of course it would, but I'm not in a position to do that right now. Should I stop writing just because I'm not in an ideal environment? I'm beginning to think the answer is No.

I do not want diminish the role of my depression in this article. It is not just my writing that has suffered during this time, but all of my hobbies. I have not been making time for anything in the last few months. That is to say that it may not be a simple matter for me to "just start writing" and expect it to solve my problems.

I am going to make a more concerted effort to write, or at least to rekindle the joy that writing once gave me.

- M L DeMoss

Vandalism

I've been theorizing for a while now that I have some kind of undiagnosed mood disorder. Whether it is clinical depression or something else, I don't know, but it has been bothering me for at least ten years, maybe longer. I have been feeling progressively worse since last year. This year most acutely.

These feelings are probably the reason that I fantasize about quitting my job and becoming some sort of writer hobo. The idea of not having the responsibility of a schedule is very appealing to me. I would love to be in a situation where I could forget what day of the week it is, and not care that I didn't know.

I told you that, to tell you this:

So today I was at work, thinking to myself that I wish I would have called in sick. The weather is cold and wet. I actually like the rain and the cold, and maybe that's why I wish I was at home so I could enjoy them. At any rate, I was wishing that I was at home.

My wife picked me up to take me out to lunch, and on the way we passed by a stone sign at the intersection of the street where I work, a kind of business park with many streets of offices. I noticed that the sign had been cleaned of the graffiti that had once been sprayed across it.

I remember the graffiti in particular because it wasn't even good graffiti. It wasn't trying to sway me to a particular political view, or make me aware of some truth (philosophical or otherwise), it wasn't even trying to proclaim someone's love for another with "Chad hearts Mary". It was just someone's name, tagged so badly that I couldn't even read it. So I wasn't upset about the vandalism so much as the lack of heart that was put into it.

That got me to daydreaming about our lazy vandal, and while I was waiting for our waitress to come to our table I jotted down an idea for the story of the lazy vandal. It's a good enough idea that I think I will one day write the whole story out.

I am writing this in my blog to point out that had I stayed home I probably would never had gotten this idea. That's not to say that I could not have had some other idea, but this one in particular possibly would never have been realized.

I've read that many authors swear by daily walks to get the creative juices flowing. I think I can see the benefit of such walks.


- M L DeMoss

I'm not dead

I have not written anything of substance in several months. I could blame this on several things: my mood disorder, my health, my job. Really I have just let life get the best of me without a fight.

Recently I have become inspired. It is the annual fundraiser for Pat Rothfuss's charity Worldbuilders. I've been watching Pat's twitch broadcasts and I have decided to try to crawl my way out of this depressing hole I have been dwelling in for the last several months. Donating to a charity that does such good work really makes me feel a bit better, if only for a little while. Pat Rothfuss is my hero.

I stopped writing because I let myself believe that my life was just too stressful for me to work at my writing. Its the same excuse I have for not trying to eat better or exercise. I keep telling myself that one day I will just yell, "Fuck it!" and quit my job and live as a writer hobo with all the time in the world to write.

I still daydream of that day, but I need to stop waiting for it. I need to write, and I need to live a healthier lifestyle. So I'm going to start tonight.

My lack of vanity does not allow me to believe that anyone actually reads this blog, but perhaps one day when I am a famous author, people will read these words and wonder how I ever made it. Until then, I will use the blog as reservoir for my thoughts, and perhaps some writing will come out of it.

I owe this blog a ton of Fortune Cookie Fridays, but don't worry - I have so many paper fortunes in my wallet right now. I will have no problem writing those again.

Serial Fiction Research - Part 2

I forgot to mention in my previous post that the show I was analyzing was The Wire. I got three episodes done before I saw that the show's plotting did not follow a simple pattern. This is unfortunate, as I was hoping I would see something I could easily model my story after.

At first I thought it was going to be cut and dry, but just when I thought I had figured it out, the next couple episodes did something different.

So I started over and began a more detailed evaluation of the plot lines. I can see that to really visualize what is taking place I'm going to have to do more than just take notes. I'm going to need diagrams and maybe one of those paper matrix things that serial killers put on their wall with all the colored string.

I have to say that I'm a bit overwhelmed and depressed that this isn't easier. That said, I think I am starting to see how I can form a story out of the little bit that I've learned so far, but I really want a good understanding of the flow of the plot across the episodes before I can start.

This is actually the part of the process that I like the least. I feel like a castaway in the ocean, barely hanging on to a piece of wreckage as the waves toss me this way and that. At least in the drafting phase I am actually writing. Even if it's garbage I can still feel productive. I know it's not true, but I feel as if I am wasting time.

Even when you are not actually writing, Keep Writing.

M L DeMoss

Serial Fiction Research - Part 1

This weekend I started working on the beginnings of my next project. It's going to be cyberpunk/space scifi story, but the kicker is that I want to do it as a serial. I've always been fascinated by serials, and I wanted to learn more about them.

Turns out there is not as much information about writing serial fiction as I had hoped. I found a few blogs, and some YouTube videos, but nothing really delving into the craft. I could not find any good books on the subject either.

So I decided to kind of teach myself. As an experiment, I picked a well written television series and watched the first episode scene by scene. I took 10 pages of notes for the episode's 30 scenes, trying to find the plot's beats. I think I got some good information, but I'm going to need to do this for a few more episodes to really lock into the style.

Meanwhile, I was also working on my story. I have a few characters forming in my mind. I don't have any villains yet, just vague and murky ideas, but it's still in the beginning stages.

If you are reading this and you know of a resource for writing serial fiction, drop me a line and tell me about it. I would love a good book on the subject. I'm going to open up the comment section for this post for just this reason.

Keep Writing!

M L DeMoss

Write Every Day - Day 23

I made a pretty tough decision last night. I have decided to set John and the Swamp God aside for a while. The draft has gone off in a direction that I don't like, straying quite far from the story that I originally wanted. So last night I wrote zero words.

Taking the night off was good for my imagination, I think. During breakfast this morning I had some good insights on how I may change my Swamp God story to bring it back in line with my original vision. I made notes.

Don't worry, the blog will continue. Tonight I will begin the early outlining of a new project. It's going to be a science fiction cyber-punk/space heist serial. I am planning on writing each story in 5000-8000 word blocks (episodes). Each story will have its own dilemma, but will also work toward a larger ongoing story. I'm reading about serial writing today, and I may post about it this weekend. I'm looking forward to this new project, and I hope you will continue to follow along.

Even when it's garbage, and you have to set it aside, Keep Writing.

M L DeMoss

Write Every Day - Day 22

It was not easy getting started last night, and I fear I have become disillusioned with my draft. Part of me feels that I don't believe in the story any more, and that it has become something different from what I originally intended. The other part of me hopes that this is just a part of finishing a draft. I'm just not on fire for it anymore.

At any rate, I figured I needed about 3000 words to finish the draft, and to do that by Sunday I would need 600 words each day. So I pushed myself until I got there. 639 words for the day (17,648).

These are not great words that I'm spitting out, and maybe that is what is bothering me. Before, I would try to make really good sentences, and I know the first draft is not the best place for that. The first draft is about getting the ideas onto paper (metaphorical paper). I suppose the way I was doing things was like me trying to do the first three drafts all at once.

I find this new way of writing less satisfying, but I can't argue with the results: I'm writing twice as many words per day than I was before in the same amount of time. So it's definitely faster.

I shouldn't worry about this, or let it get me down, but I know I'm going to end up completely rewriting a lot of the story. It just doesn't work. I think that's okay though. One of my favorite authors, Patrick Rothfuss, revised his first draft dozens of times.

So if you're reading this and feeling the same kinds of feelings, don't sweat it. Just Keep Writing.

M L DeMoss